Being a Faithful Friend to My Teen

Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

Proverbs 27:6

Parenting teens is both inspiring and intimidating.

Some say that parents cannot be friends with their teenage children. I would argue that as parents, we have the potential to be the closest friends our teens have. A true friend is willing to wound, although kissing would be so much easier.

As a parent, there come times in my responsibility toward my child when I must wound her with the truth. I must have the courage to tell my son what his friends either cannot or will not tell him. I must remind my daughter of the ground beneath her feet, the road ahead of her, the work at hand, and the God she cannot see but who stands immovable and steadfast in her corner.

Such faithful wounding is not popular.

Faithful friendship between a parent and teen is deep and mysterious wisdom. It comes at a cost and is not easy. But it is possible, according to Proverbs 27:6.

A true friend wounds faithfully. The parent who is willing to wound by drawing boundaries, holding the ropes, and standing firm trusts that truth will set her child free and, in time, help him heal.

During our son’s burn recovery, the surgeons had to wound him to bring healing to his critical injuries. So they collected skin grafts, and he bears the scars today. But those grafts enabled him to stand again. To walk again. To run.

Speaking the truth in love to teenagers is a fragile, careful business. #parenting Share on X

Like any wound inflicted in order to heal, it must be done carefully, patiently, and under the right conditions. It must be practiced with discernment and wisdom, with the end in mind.

It pains me to wound my child.

But greater pain is that of a parent whose child cannot stand against the pressures of the present, cannot walk through trials, and cannot run into a future filled with hope and promise.

So I wound, truth as my careful instrument, love as my antibiotic, grace as the soothing, calming cream that protects the wound and aids the healing process.

Parenting teenagers is tough business. The truest friends go through seasons of dislike and confrontation. But in the end, especially for those with Christ as their source of truth and wisdom, their friendship is an unbreakable bond.

Lord, I would be a faithful friend to my teenager. Give me the courage to take up my instruments of truth, love, and grace today. Amen.

@audreycfrank

Image by Tomasz Kowaluk from Pixabay