How to Walk Through Criticism

The critic stood on a ridgeline, high above the dusty road where King David and his mighty men walked.

Foam gathered in the corners of his mouth as he shouted down curses in the name of the Lord on the king. With cracked and calloused hands, the critic grabbed the nearest rocks and pummeled David and all his men with stones. “Get out! Get out, you man of blood, you scoundrel!” (2 Samuel 16:7, NIV)

The Bible tells us that all the troops and the special guard were assembled, marching on David’s right and left. This did not deter Shimei. Angry and vindictive, he continued running and shouting curses wildly as he went.

And somehow David continued to walk through flaming criticism without losing his self-control.

David’s mighty men, known for their strength and invincibility in battle, begged the king’s permission to tear the critic apart. One said, “Let me go and cut off his head!” And he surely could have.

David’s response to his men silenced and shocked them. Reminded them why God had chosen the boy king and why they were honored to follow him. “If he is cursing because the Lord said to him, ‘Curse David’, who can ask, ‘Why do you do this?'” (v. 10).

In other words, Don’t rip off his head. Maybe the Lord has something to say to me in the midst of this criticism. Listen for the Lord in the midst of the firestorm.

David’s eyes were on the Lord, even as dirt rained down on him and stones bruised his head. He was fixed on the source of his life: God alone. And he kept walking.

If he deserved criticism, David wanted to know it and learn from it. If he didn’t, he trusted the Lord would vindicate him. But his security, his identity, his honor, rested squarely in the Lord’s hands, no matter the accuser or his nasty manner of communication. David would search out the truth of the matter with Truth Himself.

King David understood that God is sovereign even in life’s most difficult moments.

Surely, criticism is a difficult moment for most of us, especially when it comes from fellow believers. Moreso while we are already down and discouraged, running for cover. Shimei hurled curses at David in the name of the Lord. David was discouraged, heart-broken, running for his life that day.

But criticism doesn’t care about your mental, physical, or emotional state. It blindsides and bullies, shouts and cuts deep. How will you respond to it?

I have learned from David how to handle criticism, but I still don’t enjoy it.

Humble Yourself Before the Lord

It is tempting to run to friends, people who will side with us and join our huddle. We all want mighty men who will volunteer to go rip someone’s head off when others are cruel to us. Those are the kind of friends everyone dreams about! Loyal to a fault, ready for action. David could have done that, but he didn’t.

He knew that the slicing words of his critic would remain long after the temporary pleasure of taking sides and rallying friends to his cause. David was called a man after God’s own heart. God is Truth, and David longed for truth more than he longed to be approved and pleasing to others. So he listened instead for the Lord in the midst of the criticism.

Vengeance is also a strong temptation when we are unfairly criticized. We want to be justified, to display our innocence to the world. We want to get back at those who have hurt us. David had the power to destroy Shimei. Instead, he chose to ask the Lord to destroy any sin in himself that might be revealed by his critic. Such humility is breathtaking, counterintuitive, and unnatural.

Look to the Lord for the Truth

 

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9)

There is One who can examine our hearts and know them fully and He can be trusted, even if the messenger may not seem trustworthy. Take the words to God and ask Him to examine them.

I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve. (Jeremiah 17:10)

Respond to what the Lord shows you. If He reveals sin in your heart, repent and make it right. Ask a trusted friend if they see this flaw in you, and request accountability to help you overcome it. Seek reconciliation if needed.

Pray for the person or persons confronting you, and ask God to guide everyone involved with His Spirit of Truth.

Entrust God with Your Reputation

A beloved mentor once told me that one’s reputation is the hardest thing to lay on the altar. Especially when it has been unfairly and inaccurately maligned. Sometimes we are in a position where to defend ourselves would betray others’ confidences. We are rendered silent and must leave our reputation to the Lord to defend. After all, if we are living for Him, following Christ with all our hearts, our reputation reflects His reputation. And He will defend His great name in us.

 

Pour Your Heart Out to Him

The king and all the people with him arrived at their destination exhausted (v.14).

Criticism is draining. But the last sentence of verse 14 goes on to complete the story: And there he refreshed himself. We know from the Psalms that David had the habit of pouring his heart out to God and strengthening his soul on God’s promises.

There is no deeper refreshment available to the bruised soul than the comfort and stability of God. After an exhausting day of criticism, David got alone with God and reminded himself what is true.

Pour your heart out to God. Tell him all about the criticism you face, and let him counsel, comfort, strengthen, and lead you through it. Spend deep time in the Bible. Remind yourself what is true about God and about yourself.

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. (Psalm 55:22)

Criticism hurts, offends, and at times it is unfounded and unkind. Bring your hurt to God. Let Him bind your wounds and heal your heart. Ask God to help you forgive wrong committed against you and trust Him to accomplish justice concerning you.

When we go to God, it is a win-win situation. If the way we see the situation is wrong, He will show us and His kindness will lead us to repentance. If we are right, He will work in our lives and others’ to reveal the truth. We must be patient, and we must entrust ourselves to the Lord, watching carefully for his commands and waiting for His grace.

I have seen beauty come out of David’s approach to criticism. Relationships spared, reconciliation achieved, and unexpected love has blossomed in my heart for the Shimeis in my life. Sometimes, questions have been left unanswered, but peace has taken the place of turmoil as I trusted the Lord with my identity and walked on.

Have you been assailed with unfair criticism lately? How do you respond? Do you get angry, cutting off relationships? Or do you get alone with God and ask Him to show you how to keep walking even as the dirt and stones rain down on you?

Lord, help me hear your voice in the midst of criticism. Teach me what is true, and defend me from what is untrue. I entrust my identity to You alone. Amen.