Not Anymore

My soul is bereft of peace; I have forgotten what happiness is.

Lamentations 3:17

To be bereft is to be deprived of or lacking something. In particular, it describes the sadness and loneliness accompanying the death or departure of someone dear.

We who follow Jesus have the peace that surpasses all understanding available to us through Christ, indeed (see Philippians 4:6-7). But loss can blot out the truth; grief can loom between us and that marvelous, available power, for a time. Like a sudden blackout dashing us into complete darkness, unexpected tragedy and loss can temporarily blind us from the light. 

The blindness may be artificial, it may be temporary, but it is real. May we have grace for ourselves and others in the family of God whose hands grope before them in blackout seasons of suffering.

The book of Lamentations describes such temporary, real blindness among the people of God. I spent much time in Lamentations the past three years as tragedy and loss stretched like a long and winding road. The book’s sad poetry resonated with my broken heart, my broken mind. 

We speak little about broken minds. Rather, we expound upon the romance and drama of broken hearts. But a broken heart can lead directly to broken patterns of thought and belief. Suffering and loss not only result in broken hearts, but broken minds. 

Minds that have memorized and believed scriptures such as Psalm 23,”The Lord is my shepherd; I lack nothing,” may find its truth sparking and hissing like a broken fuse or short-circuited wire. I lack, I lack, I lack, Lord! I cannot go on without… Truth blinks on and off until it becomes dim or dark altogether. The mind is broken by pain, even as the heart is torn in two.

But truth is truth, independent of our wholeness or brokenness. Truth stands unbroken, unbreakable. It remains like a strong, patient friend, waiting at the bedside of the comatose until they have regained the strength to see again. In fact, according to the Bible, Truth is a person, a friend (see John 14:6, 15:13-14). His name is Jesus.

Today my eyes fluttered open, as it were. I have regained consciousness in a manner of speaking. I am emerging out of the coma of trauma and my mind and heart are healing. And Truth was standing by my side, unchanged, waiting for me.

My soul is bereft of peace; I have forgotten what happiness is.

Not anymore.

Today, my soul is not bereft of peace. Rather, the banks of my soul are flooded with peace.

I have not forgotten what happiness is. Rather, in its tinny, temporal place has risen overwhelming, belly-laughing, joy.

Healing can happen. Healing does happen.

Are you in a sorrow coma today? If you are, you may be unable to engage in these words. Rest, broken one. That is all. Truth will wait for you. And when you are strong enough, when your eyes flutter open to a new day, He will be standing patient beside you, His scarred, healed hand gently covering yours, ready to lead you to wholeness.

Healing is possible. One day you will read the words of your past #lament (yes, glorious day, it will be past!) and your own heart will rise up strong again, declaring, Not anymore. Share on X

Lord, thank you for unbreakable Truth, patient Truth, when my heart and mind are broken. Amen.

@audreycfrank

Photo by Hermes Rivera on Unsplash