Tagged: instead of shame honor

Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?” Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:10-14 We are… Read More

for sw happy anniversary Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.  Ecclesiastes 4:12   Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”  Matthew 19:4-6 From a cultural perspective, Mary and Joseph's marriage was doomed. Christmas came square into the middle of a society that weighed life on the scales of honor and shame. Every decision and every behavior was measured against… Read More

For those from one of my favorite nations who allowed me to learn from them this week. You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. Genesis 50:20 Why wouldn’t the majority of house church leaders throughout persecuted nations of the world be women? Nations that see the world through the lenses of honor and shame? Women are leading house churches by the thousands. God has raised them up and they are bringing HIm much glory. In honor-shame cultures, from an early age, women are responsible for teaching children how to avoid shame and cultivate honor. During adolescence, girls become women and take on their roles as honor burden bearers. Their… Read More

Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings. Psalm 17:8   Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” Genesis 3:8-9   For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock. Psalm 27:5   Hear me, my God, as I voice my complaint; protect my life from the threat of the enemy.… Read More

O Lord, who shall sojourn in your tent? Who shall dwell on your holy hill? He who walks blamelessly and does what is right and speaks truth in his heart…  Psalm 15:1-2 I was hiding behind the chair the cat liked to sleep in. My grandmother’s cat was mean, and I dared not get too close. She would rather scratch your eyes out than look at you, my grandmother loved to say. And it was true. So today, I curled my preschool body up into a tidy squat and tried to stay out of her way. But I needed to be close enough to hear because my mom and my grandmother were having a serious conversation. And it was about me. My mother was telling a… Read More

For R and C, and all who feel outside. So Jesus also suffered outside the gate in order to sanctify the people through his own blood.  Hebrews 13:12 He spoke quietly, gently.  We were always taught that the mzungu (white man) knew best. That his way was always better. So I felt shame when asked to lead. I remained quiet, afraid my opinions would not matter. Centuries of colonization left their indelible mark on his belief system:  You are an outsider. Less-than. Keep quiet. My Kenyan friend, a strong and gentle leader, felt outside even after being invited in. Shame silences too many gifted, intelligent, courageous world-changers. [bctt tweet="Are we who are so skilled at proclaiming the forgiveness of sins through Jesus Christ overlooking the… Read More

Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. But as he considered these things, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.”  When Joseph woke from sleep, he… Read More

The angel came to her and said, “Greetings, favored one, the Lord is with you!” Luke 1:28 In honor-shame cultures throughout history, women have been honor-burden bearers for their families, tribes, and nations. Men have served as honor guards. Honor-bearers and honor guards have learned their roles from childhood. Avoid shame at all costs. Preserve the honor of the group by doing your part. This is the essence of the honor-shame worldview.  Mary knew her role, even as a young girl. By all cultural standards, she was a beacon of honor. Like other Jewish girls her age, Mary carefully maintained this position in her family and community by doing the expected things: following religious law, fulfilling household duties, and accepting her family’s careful arrangement of… Read More

God seeks what has been driven away. Ecclesiastes 3:15 Hagar was driven away from her home (see Genesis 16). Her name, Hagar, carries the root in both Hebrew and Arabic that means to flee. For Christians, Muslims, and Jews, she has become a symbol of fleeing. Some might call her the mother of refugees. The God Who Seeks Those Driven Away pursued Hagar in the desert. Alone with her child, destitute, she believed death was imminent. How astonished she must have been to hear the voice of the Seeker, seeking her out, speaking wonderful words of hope and a future. Hagar, a bondwoman to God’s chosen family, was given the high privilege of naming God. She was the first person to give Him a new… Read More

And Jesus asked him, “What is your name?” Mark 5:9 “What's your name?” the kind man in the appliance department asked my eighteen-month-old daughter. Blonde curls framed her dimpled face and her blue eyes sparkled as she answered. “Fweetie.”  Fweetie was her version of the affectionate name we always called her: Sweetie. Unashamed of her name, she knew who she was: dear to her father and me, no matter how she pronounced it. Not everyone knows how precious they are. Too many call themselves by dishonorable names, names like Hopeless Case, Ugly, Unlovable. Shame has forced them into isolation and stolen the affectionate names they were given by the One who made them: Talented, Beautiful, Loved. Shame’s goal is to steal our name. Shame itself… Read More