The Question Parents Can’t Answer on Google: Will my child be okay?

for David, and myself

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

In the past week, I have Googled everything from sparrow photos, tossed broccoli salad, what causes insomnia, and where to find a halal sheep farm near me.

More than revealing my eclectic interests and lifestyle, the ability to search such a wide range of topics in an instant discloses how dependent I have become on going to the internet to answer my questions and provide solutions to daily problems. 

On a tough afternoon as I battled anxiety about one of my children, the seriousness of my faith in Google became extremely clear. My son is growing into adulthood, quickly. The foundation of faith his father and I have laid is being largely built upon now by his own volition. 

We watch with bated breath, our hearts in our throats as we hope he chooses to follow Christ among the throngs of voices shouting at him. Like spectators at the Olympic games, we cheer wildly when Wisdom scores, only to groan in agony when Foolishness overcomes.

It is so tempting to anxiously keep our eyes on the game, and forget about the Coach, who knows the master plan.

The impulse actually raced through my mind, albeit for a nano-second, to Google for help with my anxious thoughts.

How to let your children go

When you have no control

Letting your little boy grow up

How to let your child go without sending him to therapy as an adult

How to nurse your broken heart as your children make their own choices

How to keep your mouth shut and give him a chance to choose for himself

How to battle fear

How to cry in private and seem strong and grown up in front of your child

Stop being a control freak parent

These may be hypothetical, or maybe I did type them in… but seriously, how many of us have been tempted to ask for help from that inviting little space bar at the top of the screen? Like a crystal ball, it beckons us to pay our $5 for a palm reading.

The problem is, the internet has no omniscient power to see our future and remove our anxiety.

Peace is not something one can order on Amazon (although I hear they do offer some highly effective collars to stop dogs from barking insanely). 

There is at least one question Google cannot answer for us. 

Will my child be okay?

Will he or she really choose the path of wisdom? There is a panicky sort of fear that scandalizes the hearts of mothers and fathers when they realize the child they have led and nurtured for so many years is suddenly unleashed, making his or her own decisions.

Rightfully so. This is the way growing up was intended. Healthy independence is one of the star goals of parenting, after all. So why is it so hard when it comes?

We do not need Google to remove our anxiety. We have a timeless, tested, stable, faithful place to go with our anxiety.

Here are just a few of the truths parents and children can stand on in the transitional years.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.” (Jeremiah 29:11-12)

And He led them forth by the right way… (Psalm 107:7)

Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who finds great delight in His commands. His children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. (Psalm 112:1-2)

In his heart man plans his course but the Lord determines his steps. (Proverbs 16:9)

 

Parents, without faith, we will succumb to fear. And fear turns us into cranky, controlling, paranoid parents no child wants to walk alongside her in this vulnerable and exciting time of transition to adulthood.

But the parent of faith knows something worth knowing. He or she knows that there is a greater power that determines our steps, no matter how our plans lay out. There is One who can be trusted.

The future will be okay, no matter what, because He has already gone before us and prepared the way. He will be there waiting on us. God’s got this, and He’s got the child we love so much it hurts. This is a strength our children need and will be drawn to.

Let’s commit together today to build, or re-build, the habit of going to God’s Word with our anxiety. Go as expectantly as you would go to that brightly flashing browser bar on your screen, and find the answer that will truly bring you peace. Choose faith, even as you pray your growing child does the same.

Lord, forgive me for going to easy answers to allay my anxiety. I choose to draw near to You. Speak to me and bring me peace. Amen.

What truths from the Bible have strengthened you? Someone may need to hear it today.