Unruly Child of Mine, O My Soul

But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.

Psalm 131:2, NIV

His flaming cheeks were damp with tears, skin clammy and sweaty from the fight. Those long eyelashes everyone admired were clumped together like little dragon spikes framing big blue eyes clouded with frustration. Sweet chubby fists clenched at the side of his blue corduroy overalls while he stomped his feet as though the earth were a drum and he was calling in reinforcements. 

My toddler had not been allowed to eat the cookies he wanted, and for some reason beyond his comprehension, Mommy had put them out of his reach in a hiding-place called After Dinner. This boy could put up a tenacious fight about food.

I still remember the potent, powerful mixture of sheer intoxicating love and I’m-responsible-to-be-an-adult-right-now feeling I had for him in such moments. So difficult not to smile at the determined brow, to reach down and squeeze those cheeks rosy and heated with passion, so hard not to laugh out loud at how doggone, utterly adorable my child was even in his most defiant moments of resistance about sweets.

And sometimes I did just that. I scooped him up and kissed his little face with a thousand kisses as I whispered, “Let’s go play trains.”

But at the heart of the matter every time was the need to train and discipline my unruly child, to lead him to something much more satisfying and life-sustaining than cookies or candy. 

Contentment is a lesson we all resist at one point or another.

But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.

David, the shepherd boy who became king, used the metaphor of a weaned child with its mother to beautifully describe contentment in Psalm 131:2. 

In Jewish tradition, the time when a child is weaned is reason for celebration. The most fragile stage of childhood has been survived, and the child is no longer dependent on the physical nourishment of the mother. In ancient cultures many children did not survive infancy, making the weaning celebration even more significant than we might consider it in modern times. 

Children were typically weaned between the ages of 18 months and five years. In both Jewish and Muslim cultures, weaning is still celebrated. In the culture where we lived when my son was born, the weaned child was showered with sweets. One stroll down the street from the market to our house would result in pockets stuffed and bulging with cookies and candy. All along the way, friends, neighbors and shop vendors joyfully and generously gave treats to the little boy who was no longer a baby. 

Although his newfound freedom was delightful to my little one, it presented a new parenting challenge to me. I was tasked with the job of teaching this young soul to say no to himself, not just everyone around him (as is the practice of most stalwart two-year-olds). 

Saying no to ourselves is a mark of maturity and central to contentment. #Contentment tames the most unruly soul. #selfcontrol #trust #faith Share on X

In his well-loved commentary, Matthew Henry summarized King David’s contentment metaphor like this: (David) “was well reconciled to every condition that God placed him in.”

When a child trusts his mother, he can trust the condition she imposes on him. 

When a child of God trusts her Lord, she can trust the condition He imposes on her. 

She can trust Him when He says No. She can trust Him when what she longs for is out of sight, in some hidden place called Not Yet.

She can trust Him when He says Wait.

She can trust Him when He says Give me that. I’ll keep it for you.

She can trust Him.

Like a mother who nourished and comforted her child through the night watches of infancy, gently and wisely leading her child to the next stage of maturity, so God will wisely and gently lead you and me. He can be trusted to lead us in the right way (see Proverbs 3:5-6).

This is contentment, and this is the desire I have for the unruly child in my life today, my soul within me that would stomp her feet, clench her fists, wet her face with tears of stubborn demand.

I will calm and quiet my soul, like a weaned child with its mother I will be content. 

Join me?

Lord, calm and quiet the unruly child in me. I choose contentment. I will trust You. Amen.

@audreycfrank