When Helping Grieves the Lord
The LORD was so furious with Uzzah, he killed him on the spot for his negligence.
2 Samuel 6:7
To read more of my reflections on 2 Samuel 6, click here.
The word ḥârâ used for furious in this passage not only means to grow angry, but also to be grieved.
This word has stuck with me in recent days.
What if our helping grieves the Lord?
I recently stood with two dear African friends from two different nations as they recounted one way Western help has hurt. Historically, some helpers brought the Gospel to Africa wrapped in prosperity. In the process, suffering was omitted from the message of faith in the One who suffered to save humanity. Allured by illusions of quick solutions and easy relief from struggle, millions of Africans followed the prosperity message, leaving hard work and perseverance behind. The god of money parodied the one True God, and African nations were swept away in the frenzy. Today, the farce is far-reaching, a faith that is no faith, yet all began with the good intention to help the hungry and the lost.
Hurtful helping happens everywhere, though.
Tearful parents call emergency counseling lines asking how to unwind decisions meant to help their young adult children, yet enabled them instead.
Doers of good deeds grow bitter as their well-meant sacrifices seem to foster more selfishness in their refugee communities.
Caring friends and family become codependent in their efforts to empathize with the pain of a loved one who is addicted.
Another word for grieve in the Old Testament is ‘âṣaḇ. Interestingly it can also mean to shape and form. (See its use in Psalm 78:40, Genesis 45:5 in Joseph’s words to his brothers , 1 Kings 1:6 about Adonijah, the self-promoting, boastful son of David regarding David’s lack of correcting/shaping him, or Job 10:8 as Job laments that God had shaped him and then destroyed him).
On the threshing floor of Nacon, a furious, grieved God was shaping His people. #holiness Share on X
When things are unstable, when we must face the failure of our well-intended help, even in the presence of God’s anger and grief He is shaping us with mercy. Not every uneven path must lead to grief.
Perhaps the unevenness you face right now is a shaping place. Could it be a shaping, transforming place that, if you refrain from reaching out to steady it in your strength, will be the longed-for answer to the prayer you have prayed so long in the night watches for your loved one?
Stay your hand, helper. If there must be grieving, let it be the kind that shapes, the kind the Lord extends with His merciful hand for all who dare wait for Him instead of reaching out to help Him do what only He can do.
Lord, shape me and those I want to help. Grant me discernment to know the difference between helping and hurting. Amen.
Photo by Raychel Sanner on Unsplash
To learn more about how to help without hurting, read When Helping Hurts, by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert
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