Why?

Written by a gospel worker who needed to remind her troubled soul.

Why do I put myself in peril,

and take my life in my hands?

Even if he slays me, I will hope in him…

Job 13:14-15a

I already made this decision, Lord. It is not one to be revisited. I decided as my child lay in the hospital fighting for his life that I would trust You. It is finished. I trust You.

I trusted You that night. I will trust you today, as I am assailed on every side, and the one I love is not exempt from the bullseye.

What more will You allow in Your sovereignty? I do not dare imagine; I refuse old practices of bartering and bargaining with You. I made the decision to trust You, and I must. No looking back. I only want Your will to be done.

Why do I put myself in peril? Why live this extraordinary life that sends me to exotic places, far reaches where there is no Church? Why live this strange life that makes me a stranger among my neighbors and even stranger to my friends and family?

Why do I put myself in peril as terrorists refuse to return my peace and plot against me?

Why do I take my life in my hands in a land of warriors known for their hatred?

Why do I put myself in peril of imprisonment for telling Truth?

Why do I take my life in my hands living far from loved ones?

Why do I put myself in peril of others’ judgment and anger as I seek to obey You to the best of my ability?

Why?

Because I know You, Lord. You are slow to anger and rich in love. Your compassion knows no end. Your mercies are new every morning. I can’t reach the end of your faithfulness.

I trust You. I have already settled the matter. It is not open to discussion. I decided, and I stand by it.

Lord, I pray for gospel workers everywhere who pay a dear and oft-hidden cost because they decided to trust and obey You. Though the pressures without and the fears within threaten to slay them, may they yet hope in You today. Amen.

Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash

@audreycfrank